Burned
by ThatRebelKid
Summary: And it hurt, but then  again, you wouldn't care.
1. Chapter 1

**Burned**

_And it hurt, but then again, you wouldn't care.

* * *

_

The cell was cold that night, but she wouldn't have noticed. Her mind was in a freefall, spinning beyond her fingertips and out of her control. She took in a deep breath. _They execute traitors._ Her heart was thumping a fast tempo against her ribcage, pulse fluttering in her wrists. Her hands uncurled, then curled back into a fist over and over again. The burning in her chest twisted up her windpipe, reminding her that she needed to breathe. Another breath resounded throughout the room, this one albeit shaky. _Execute. _ Was she to die? The thing she feared most? She couldn't let this happen, (she didn't want to think of what this would do to Lissa, especially because of the shadow kissed-), but what choice could she have? The decision was carving itself into stone, deeper and deeper by the day. She wasn't even allowed to attend her own trial anymore. There had to be a way to warn someone of the task that she could not do, to find the illegitimate child of Eric Dragomir. _Lissa, Lissa, Lissa. _ Desperately, she screwed her eyes shut, slamming her palms harshly against the eyelids.

But Dimitri! She spent the past two years chasing after him only to have him reject her? What was she really doing anyways? He did not love her, he made that clear and even if he did, it was _her_ that paid the price for his love. It was her that was constantly being pushed away, following the frantic eluding _impossibilities _to try to make him happy, to try to keep him with her forever. Was it worth it? Did the glory and joy of being the object of his love justify the pain of rejection, the string of refusals? Was it worth being loved?

"Rose," the whisper came from the shadows and immediately she jumped to the bars clutching at them desperately.

"Mikhail," her voice broke, and she felt the hot tears spill onto her cheeks, "Mikhail, thank God. What's happening?"

"The date's been set," he looked at her, then away as he slipped his hand through the bars to stroke her hair, "I'm sorry."

Unfeeling, she slid down the bars, Mikhail's hand on the back of her hand going by unnoticed. She couldn't speak, her throat seized up, and her hands flew to her chest despondently. It was all she could do to not cry.

"And Lissa? Dimitri? Adrian?" she murmured, the words barely above a whisper.

"None have tried to visit," he replied, clearing his throat. "That's it? You're not going to fight this?"

She smiled wryly, the gesture not reaching her eyes. Reaching into her pocket, she slipped out the nearly worn out note and held it out for him.

"It seems I have to ask this one last thing from you, comrade. Tell no one, not even Lissa."

"Rose, this is from the Queen. This could prove your innocence, why didn't-"

"How, Mikhail? It has no date, no nothing. Not the name of her killer. For all they could know, I took the note and killed her for it."

"But you're not even-"

"I'm not arguing this," her tone of voice left no room for argument, she slipped into silence.

The two of them stayed like that for a while, Mikhail offering the comfort of his company before his time window was outlived, separated by bars. She did not notice when his footsteps gave the sign of his exit, nor when her guards returned at their posts. She did not have the strength to walk to her small bed, but nonetheless, she got to it though with no recollection how. _Love fades. Mine has. _She had always lived for Lissa, but who loved her now? Who would care enough to carry her memory with them, for the rest of their lives? Her life… wasted. Wasted living for someone else, wasted for chasing someone who didn't want her, who always pushed her away.

But then again, she was always being reckless, even with her heart.

* * *

By the time she stumbled out of the dungeons, it was nearly nighttime for the Moroi. Abe greeted her, arching an eyebrow when she didn't say a thing in return. She glanced down at her belongings in her hands, then back at the dungeons. Mikhail came to her, a small smile creeping on his face.

"Wha-what's going on?" she had difficulty speaking after so many days spent not uttering a word.

"You're free," Abe said simply, eyeing her curiously. "I would have thought that was obvious. Aren't you happy?"

"Where's Lissa? Adrian? Does she know?" she looked around for her best friend, brows furrowing into a frown.

"She's with Christian. And Adrian is being held hostage by his father," Abe replied. She stayed silent for a few minutes before walking away, Mikhail hot on her heels. Walking through the courtyard, she spotted Lissa and Christian at a café, talking with what seemed to be with ease. She looked away pointedly, and settled at a bench by the garden, deep in shadows and secluded.

Mikhail and Rose sat for a few minutes before she gathered up the courage to speak.

"This will be my last adventure," Rose bit her lip before raking a hand through her hair. "After this, I'm giving up this world. I'm going to retirement. "

"I'll follow you, whatever you choose to do, wherever you choose to go," he said confidently, his hands reaching inside his coat pocket to hand me the note. I held it for a moment before crumpling up the paper and shoving it into my own pocket.

"Why?"

"Because I have hope in you, because I'm ready to go out with a last _bang!_ ," he chuckled, then paused, "and you're not the only one who's loved and lost."

Rose sighed, twisting her hair around in her hand, thinking of Dimitri. "My loss is different than yours, comrade. He doesn't want me."

"Better or worse than being dead?"

"Worse. At least if they were dead, you had the memory of them loving you back. "

* * *

The announcement spread like wildfire among both Moroi and dhampir gossip, (did you hear? Rose lured a guardian into quitting! I bet they're eloping right now, at least Adrian's on the market!). Before long, Lissa _and _Dimitri were pounding at her door to no end, to no answer. A few days passed, and the time for Rose's departure arrived. Dressed in a tank top, skinny jeans, and a light gray cardigan she waited for Mikhail to leave Court behind.

"Rose, what are you doing? You're throwing away being a guardian, it's not too late for you to stay and fix this," Dimitri pleaded, his words falling on deaf ears. She greeted Mikhail as he finally arrived, and before she could protest, he took her luggage and shoved it into the trunk of a car.

"Rose, please-"

"You don't love me anymore, you said so yourself. You also said that two people can exist around each other. You want to repay Lissa, fine. I'm just making this easier for you," the words came out like ice, her face giving nothing away.

"I thought you loved me, I thought you wouldn't give up," his eyes widen, concern marring his face. (When was the last time he's seen her like this? With no fire, no… fight? He knew, _heknewheknewheknew!, _none).

"I'm exhausted of being mistreated by you, of chasing down a fool man's dreams to make you mine," she hesitated again as she opened the car door. "It hurts, but then again, you wouldn't care. And it's not healthy for me to chase after someone who never wanted me to begin with."

The car door slammed shut behind her, and Mikhail put the car into drive, leaving a shocked and heartbroken Dimitri begins. Unable to bear imagining his reaction to her parting words, (would he be relieved? Overjoyed?), much less _seeing,_ she shoved the seat into a reclining position, staring out the front window with damp eyes.

"So this is it, the last plan of action for you," Mikhail grinned, trying to lighten his companion's mood.

"This is the beginning of the end," she questioned the choice o f words in her mind, then smiled slightly at the accurate description.

"Huh. That is a appropriate," he thought aloud, glancing at her. He mulled the words in his mind, before repeating them, letting his tongue roll them off.

"Did you know that your name in Russian is _Roza?"_

"I've heard that before," Rose choked out.

"From who?"

"No one special," she bit her lip as a lone tear spilled over onto her right cheek before disappearing into her hair. "No one at all."


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the long wait! I've been swamped with schoolwork!  
**

**I just wanted to give a HUGE shout out to my beta, RoxisAngel who is _amazingamazingamazing._**

**Thank you all for the support!

* * *

_  
_**

**Emptied**

_He always had skeletons in his closet._

The cold water that ran down the back of his neck made him shudder, the sound of the running faucet blaring in his ears. He grunted slightly when he splashed his face yet again before twisting the tap off, pushing himself to stand in front of the mirror. It still surprised him to see his tanned skin, when he was used to the pallor of Strigoi, and in times such as this when he was half dead with sleep, it even made him jump.

Dimitri dragged his eyes across his reflection but he hesitated before he made eye contact with the person in the mirror. He sucked in a breath, and froze. His eyes were the dark brown they had always been in his dhampir life, bags under his eyes from recent lack of sleep, but in his minds' eye he saw bright crimson orbs boring at him, the reenactments of his evil deeds smirking back at him, taunting him (_boy, you have no shot at heaven now!_). His hands clenched around the edges of the sink, jaw tensing, until he thought that either his fingers would break or the porcelain.

Sighing, he grabbed a hand towel from the rack and dried himself off before walking out the bathroom, sweat pants dangling low on his hips. It was the middle of the night, and it wasn't the first time this week that he had been this restless.

"They've dropped your guards." The voice of Tasha Ozera sounded from behind him, and he turned to see her standing at the doorway. "And now you'll be one of Lissa's guardians, but they'll be monitoring you for a while at first."

"For someone who's causing riots whenever she speaks," he said, arching an eyebrow, "they let you know quite a bit of information."

She smiled slightly, but moved no closer to him, opting to stand at a distance. He frowned slightly, realizing at once that something had gone wrong between them in the past few hours. Turning away from her, Dimitri strode over to the dresser and started rummaging through the drawers while preparing for what was to come next.

"Dimka, I –" She cut herself off, taking a deep breath to compose herself before the words came out in a jumbled rush. "Why didn't you tell me that you loved Rose? I thought –"

"She was my student. It would have looked bad no matter who I told," he interjected, concentrating on the folded shirts inside the dresser. "Besides, it's over now. I've ended things with her for good."

Tasha reacted violently to the statement, marching up to his back and yanking his shoulder to meet his eyes. She was snarling at him, eyes blazing with a surprised fury, grip tight on his bicep. He was startled at her response, caught completely off guard, and his eyes widened as he stumbled back against the dresser, a precariously stacked pile of paperbacks falling to the floor with soft thuds.

"They set the date," she said coldly, grip tightening like a clamp, "and you're letting her go off to her death? What happened to doing what was right? Do you have any idea what she did for _you_? She broke Dashkov out of prison! Goddammit, Dimitri! She broke _laws_ for you! And this is how you repay her? If she was willing to do all of that after everything you did to her, then I don't know what love is," she hissed, releasing him and walking to the door calmly.

"You aren't half the man you're family raised."

He couldn't think of a damned thing that would get him past the guards. Dimitri cursed under his breath, and he changed course to the side of the building, leaning against the wall in an attempt to calm down.

"You're definitely not allowed inside," Mikhail stepped into his line of sight, raking a hand through his hair, "she specifically told them that you would attempt an escape plan for her."

Dimitri blinked incredulously, eyes straying from Mikhail to the building then back. "She… _what?_"

"She doesn't want you to see her," Mikhail chuckled, "Rose wanted me to tell you that she's given up."

Silence enveloped the two for a few short moments before Mikhail cleared his throat.

"She's dying in there," he whispered quietly, wind rustling the leaves around them, "mentally, you know? It's like… she's accepted it."

"No, she hasn't," Dimitri said, smiling bitterly at some of the not-so-pleasant memories that came up. "It's not her nature. She'll get over it, she always does."

"I don't think you understand," Mikhail said slowly, a confused expression coloring his features, "She has the whole queen's army guarding her cell. There's no possible way –"

"You don't know her well enough." The words hung in the air, and Dimitri walked away with a slightly crazed expression twisting his face.

_She has to, she just does. She's… everything. She can do anything. _

_She can. _

_She will.

* * *

_

The news reached him before the end of the week, pulling him out of the trance he was in. (_Did you hear? That Hathaway girl got away! With a _guardian_, no less!_) Shock resonated through him as Dimitri dropped heavily on a plastic chair in the café, the tray in his hands forgotten.

_Rose…is out? She's actually free?_ Words failed him as the thoughts flew around his head at millions of miles an hour, his figure still, not giving away his thoughts. Abruptly, he found himself nearly breaking the wooden door that separated him from his _Roza. _Days passed, and before long, Tasha came by to tell him that Mikhail and Rose were leaving soon and that he _better_ get his ass over there before she was gone for good.

His heart froze in his chest before relapsing its thunderous beat, hammering painfully against his chest.

"Rose, what are you doing? You're throwing away being a guardian, it's not too late for you to stay and fix this," Dimitri pleaded, his words falling on deaf ears. Rose ignored Dimitri completely, greeting Mikhail cheerfully as he finally arrived. Before she could protest, he took her luggage and shoved it into the trunk of a car.

_Don't let her go, don't let her do this! Keep her here!_

"Rose, please –"

"You don't love me anymore, you said so yourself," Rose finally said, staring at the ground. "You also said that two people can exist around each other. You want to repay Lissa, fine. I'm just making this easier for you." The words came out like ice, slowly covering his body as his heart stuttered once, twice, and then froze over completely.

"I thought you loved me. I thought you wouldn't give up," Dimitri said, lips letting the words out numbly. He licked his lips, paused, glanced away and shifted his weight before looking back at her. His throat ached. (When was the last time he's seen her like this? With no fire, no… fight? He knew _heknewheknewheknew!_).

"I'm exhausted of being mistreated by you, of chasing down a fool man's dreams to make you mine." Rose hesitated as she opened the car door. (_Please, please, stay. Won't you stay?_). "It hurts, but then again, you wouldn't care. And it's not healthy for me to chase after someone who never wanted me to begin with."

And then Mikhail swept her away into the distance.

_So this is what it feels like to have those words said to you_… Karma said he needed to hear those words directed at him, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

All at once, the monster inside of him roared in self-hatred.

* * *

Dimitri shot up in his bed, cold sweat marring his brow, his chest heaving. Scowling, he leaned back against the headboard. _Another restless night_, he sighed, threading fingers through his hair. In the next room over, Zoya began to cry and Karolina's bedsprings creaked as she got out of bed to quiet her youngest child. A muffled curse from her room sounded as a car passed, the bass of the music as loud as it would go

Dimitri gritted his teeth, the background noise serving as a reminder that there was a good chance that Viktoria was still out in the night, doing God knew what. Viktoria had been out of control, using her anger as an excuse to do stupid things after discovering who Rolan _really _was. Officially, she was grounded until she moved out (if she ever did), but all that did was cause her to go out later than she'd have liked.

Sighing, Dimitri got up and headed downstairs. He wasn't going to sleep again tonight, not after those nightmares.

Olena was in the kitchen, cleaning up before she went to bed. As Dimitri arrived downstairs, she was rinsing out glasses and putting them in the dishwasher.

"Nightmares?" Olena asked sadly, already knowing the answer. Dimitri nodded anyway. "Maybe…" If the woman was going to say anything else, she was cut off as the door banged open.

Viktoria was standing in the doorway, hanging onto the knob to keep from falling down in her high heels. She looked wasted, with mussed hair and smeared makeup, but also completely terrified and crying. Her short dress looked like it had been pulled down in the back, and a part of it was actually ripped away. As she turned to close the door, Dimitri saw a scratch that went from her hip to the inside of her knee.

"You h-have to h-help me," Viktoria choked out, wiping her eyes with her wrist. "I –"

Dimitri was already out the door, half-wishing he didn't keep his boots up in his room. It was going to be cold tonight. From the streetlamps, he could make out a group of drunken Moroi. Like Viktoria, they were intoxicated. Only a few looked like they knew what they were doing – most of them just looked drunk, wondering how to get home, wherever that was. He shouldered his sister behind him in a protective stance.

"Leave, right now," Dimitri said, stopping before he got to the actual sidewalk. He wanted to hurt those certain few, no doubt about that, but it would be too easy to step on an unseen piece of broken glass. Better to just call the cops, deal with the monsters later…

"You can't do anything to us," an especially tall Moroi said. "You're still on probation. They'd kill you if you just attacked us for no reason."

"I wouldn't attack you for no reason," Dimitri replied, his voice eerily calm despite the emotions raging inside. "It would be because you raped my little sister and I'm apparently not over my anger issues."(_Your counselor would be so disappointed._)

"And what a shame that would be," Rose called out, stepping away from the shadows. Dimitri flinched slightly before composing himself. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she grinned slowly at the group, teeth glinting in the light. Three half stumbled and half ran from her, not giving their abandoned friends a second thought as they recognized her.

"What are you doing here?" Dimitri asked, unbelieving. It was business, obviously, but why Baia? Why her? She still had the psychic link to Lissa, who knew Dimitri was at home. If she really didn't want to see him again, why not switch with someone?

Rose ignored him as she continued to walk onto the street, two full-grown dhampir trailing her. She glanced at the small crowd – or what was left of it, at least. Only the tall Moroi and two others remained. "I was talking to you, earlier," she said to him coolly, a dangerous glint in her eye. "It seems we'll have to get reacquainted."

The tall Moroi made a move toward her, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder, a foreign voice murmuring in his ear.

"Just keep your mouth shut," Rose told the Moroi. Then she turned to Dimitri, her facial expression contorting into something viciously enraged.

"You're not supposed to be here." Her voice shook, fists clenched as she stepped closer to him precariously.

"I live here," he raised an eyebrow, rising up to the unspoken challenge. Dimitri took a step towards her – His hands moved to grip her waist, but then he hesitated and backed down.

"Leaving Lissa open for the taking," she hissed, "she's missing."


End file.
